Once more unto the breach!
Yes, that’s right. The wife is pregnant with our second child. Due in September. I guess it’s time to “daddy blog” again.
The kiddo has been informed–and has thusly informed us that she desires a baby sister. (She has been thusly thusly informed that we have no control over such things.)
We are absolutely excited about this new development in our lives–and scared shitless at the same time. Which is not at all different from the first time around.
Yet… there are many things that are different this time around.
“No freak outs until heartbeat.”
When we found out 8 weeks ago that my wife is pregnant, the scene felt different. We definitely wanted this to happen. And maybe it was just a particularly tough day with the kiddo. But our reaction was subdued–at least comparatively to the first time.
And my brain? It went into ballistic logistics mode…
How were we going to pay for this? Would my wife do part-time for a year like before? Could we afford that? We just moved, what the hell are we doing?
That’s when we decided that our rule would be “No freak outs until heartbeat.” Meaning we wouldn’t even consider taking next steps until we got a definitive look at our new baby and could tell things were going well.
Things are going well so far, so there’s that. (I’m freaking out about logistics–though things are beginning to make more sense, both emotionally and financially.)
“It’s always morning around here.”
With our first, my wife’s morning sickness was pretty subdued. A bad day here and there, but she mostly described it as being carsick all the time.
This time? Morning sickness from hell. To the point she needed meds to function for a while. She’s getting better by the day as we leave the first trimester, but yeah…
Try explaining to your 4-year-old why Mama has to throw up all the time… or why she can throw up one minute and want guacamole from the Mexican restaurant the next…
Nothing quite like hearing your 4-year-old sigh and say with a tone of resignation, “Mama has to throw up again…”
“I’ve forgotten what no sleep feels like.”
This isn’t entirely true. I haven’t slept more than 2-3 hours at a time since my first was born. But then again, the no sleep parade is a whole new kind of tired.
Am I excited about this part? No. I feel like one kid aged me much faster than my 30 years would indicate–then again, four surgeries in four years also has that effect as well.
“I guess we aren’t playing house anymore.”
I could have said this when I turned 30, but there’s real truth to this with the “American Dream” kid that’s on the way (we’ll have two kids and a dog, the 2.5 kid “dream.”)
Somehow, this second child is making me think more seriously about the future than ever before. And not so much the “What do I want to do with my life?” type of questions (because that will never be solved). But rather things like…
Retirement… investing… savings… debt reduction… schools… activities…
Maybe it’s just that I watch a lot of golf, and therefore a lot of retirement commercials.
“We’re still making it up as we go along–and we love it.”
Despite what I’ve been saying, yes, I am very excited. I want a second child (for some reason). And given that every day with one kid, I still feel like I’m making it up as I go along.
With two kids, I just expect it to be more difficult. It’s funny how this thing hasn’t really changed. As I wrote during the first pregnancy:
I think I have ideas for how I’ll be as a dad, how I’ll act in certain situations, etc. [But] really, I have no idea. And I’m not sure I’m supposed to.
Am I alone in feeling like this? The second child has to feel different somehow, right? It has to feel less extremely awesome and more logic-oriented, right? Even for something I want?