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The Trigenarian Complication

LifeisChangeThis photo to the right is of the canvas I’ve had on my office wall for the past couple of years. Seems appropriate given the circumstances.

A couple of weeks ago, I turned 30. And I’m still not quite sure how I feel about the whole thing.

On the one hand, I’ve always been “old” for my age. After all, I have a wife, a kid, a dog, a house, multiple surgical scars, a terrible allergy problem, a limp when a storm front starts rolling in, and even a “tax shelter” (namely my house in Utah, which is being rented out at the moment).

On the other hand, I don’t exactly know where the last ten years of my life have gone, and I’m not entirely convinced I’m actually 30.

What’s 30 “supposed” to feel like? What’s it supposed to “mean?” Is it the time you “grow up” (whatever that means)? Or is the number attached to being a grown-up?

I’ve been married for the majority of the last decade, a father for nearly half. If this were 1955 (or Utah), I’d be on top of things (or, in Utah’s case, a bit behind in terms of children).

So, maybe I’ve always “been 30” and just have never been able to admit it. And yet, even now, from time to time it still feels like I’m playing “house.” Is that normal? Will 30 change any of that?

Probably. Eventually. Inevitably.

Turning 30, as all major milestones seem to do, coincided with what could be deemed a very stressful last four months:

  • A cross-country move “back home” (with all the requisite adjustments)
  • Finding a new house in a good school district (something that wouldn’t have been on the radar when I was 20)
  • Finding tenants (after the market forced us to become landlords)
  • Finding a new job (which will be announced next week)

All good things, mind you. But when you get older, even *good* things are stressful.

So, after all this confusion, what’s next for this trigenarian?

  • Financial planning (Yes, it’s boring, but I have to quit pretending I know what I’m doing)
  • Watching a nearly four-year-old continue to grow and amaze (hence why the school decision is so important)
  • An older, more personal approach to this blog. You’ll still have the email marketing posts, but I will also write more in the personal vein (when I have something to say, naturally). You’ll have to find my work-related posts elsewhere (which I’ll link to as well)
  • Even better attention to health. I’ve been working with a personal trainer off and on for almost two years, and the drops in BMI and weight and gains in muscle mass have been worth the effort.
  • Truly discovering what I enjoy and beginning to really pursue those things.

And with that, I leave you with Keane’s words from “On the Road,” a song that has defined the last four months and will likely define the near future for me:

Have you been feeling that pull?
And are you hearing that call?
‘Cause you’ve got everything that you need to make a start 

Your whole life lies ahead
It’s just around the bend

So when the sun is coming up and you go
And there’s still so many things you don’t know
Don’t you look back, I’ve no doubt that I
ill meet you on the road

When the world’s laying you low
Don’t let it rattle your bones
Sometimes a dream itself can keep you safe
All along the road

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