My wife is now 30 weeks pregnant (plus a few days). On Wednesday we had our 30 week appointment. Everything looks good. My baby girl has a fat head and long legs (just like her daddy–cute!). She weighs 3.7 pounds already, so we’re looking at close to 9 pounds if she goes full-term. The doctors are estimating that she’ll come a week early though, so watch out Halloween! You’re on notice now!
————————————————–
Throughout this entire process, I’ve been reading through some fatherhood/pregnancy-from-the-dad’s-POV books–they all say the same thing: That women can imagine themselves with a baby, but men imagine themselves with a child (like a toddler, etc.).
I can attest this is so true. Every time I think about my soon-to-be-born daughter, I think about things I can teach once she can walk, communicate, etc. I have a real hard time thinking in terms of baby interaction. To me, I think it’s partially because I was the youngest child, so I have no lengthy experience interacting with newborns and infants. I was a boy, so babysitting was never really a consideration. And the babysitting I’ve done in the past few years has been with the help of my wife–so I’ve been relegated (happily) to entertainment provider.
Am I the only one that’s been through this feeling of disconnect to the first few years in terms of imagination? Don’t get my wrong, I don’t feel like I’m disconnected emotionally from the situation. I just don’t have those images in my mind of how the first few years will be.
Anybody been there?
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Great blog. Interesting perspective…I’ll be curious to know your feelings once your daughter arrives. With 3 of my own all I can tell you is there is nothing like welcoming a new little person into this world. I hope it is/she is everything you want her to be.
Carolyn,
I have no doubt in my mind that once I see my daughter for the first time that it will all change. Everything I’ve read and seen speaks to that transition in mindset. I just don’t have the weight of carrying a kid to snap my head into focus.
Thanks for the compliments and well-wishes.
That’s very true. And I even babysat for the entire neighborhood. When I pictured having a child, it was more oriented toward things I could do with him (teach him to ride a bike, throw a baseball, catch bugs, etc). I never really noticed that until I read this. Of course, once he was born (after the initial “wow. I MADE this thing??” shock that took a few days to sink in), everything just fell into place. Instinct is a powerful force!
Jim,
I’m getting the “I MADE this (with help)??!!” reaction when I feel my daughter kicking and headbutting all over the place. But yeah, the whole activities orientation is hard to overcome before the physical evidence.
I’m stoked, though. The only negative “press” I get on having kids are from the people who don’t have them. That has to say something about the institution of parenthood that goes beyond simple animalistic procreation, right?
{ 1 trackback }